The Trial
by La De Da
Summary: Goku is dead and Chichi is very much broken without him. Through their bond he continuously tries to keep her put together but the cracks in their bond seem to be too much for her to take. Rated M because there are some pretty dark issues at hand.


I do not own Dragonball/Z/GT.

This is very much an A/U take on the situation… But I do believe a lot of the way Goku and Chichi's relationship works and is expressed in this story is accurate.

I know I have disappeared for a while and I have probably given up on a lot of the old stories… but this is new and a one- shot and therefore very long. Please read and review. Thank you!

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Chichi kept her hands busy. It was the only think she knew how to do. She cooked, cleaned, repaired household items- she even trained herself in the martial arts again. It was when the day slowed, the sun lowering itself to give the moon its own chance to reign, that she remembered him. That she longed for him and cried for him. Misery flooded her heart any time she was alone. She had trouble finding the will to get out of bed each morning- even with their son sleeping down the hall.

She wanted him where he should be- at home.

But home, she knew, always had a completely different meaning for her Goku. Home was not where her heart was or with his family- home was wherever the next adventure led him to be. She had no place in his definition of home.

Chichi mourned. No matter how many days, months, or years passed- she mourned. She portrayed herself as the toughest woman in history and the façade wore her down. She stared at herself in the mirror- the light in her eyes was only evident when Goku was with her. Near her. Or hell, even if he was on the same planet. Better yet- when he was alive.

She dreamt of him. Such vivid dreams. They woke her in the night- startled and gasping. Always half expecting him to be leaning over her with a look of concern in his face. Always ready to comfort her with a grin. Always ready to hold her if she'd only ask.

But she hadn't asked the last time they were together. She hadn't shown him much except her back because she knew what was to happen. He was going to die. There was nothing she could say to change his mind… he would give up his life for this planet.

_"Chichi… it's for you. For Gohan. To keep you safe."_

She knew she was unreasonable to be mad at him for wanting to save the world. But was it unreasonable to want to keep her husband? She knew what his friends thought of her. Unreasonable. But look at her now.

But she _felt_ him. It was as if, in her sleep, he would visit her. She clung to these dreams- being in his arms again. And when she woke, her fingers grasping the sheets and tears already falling down her cheeks, she cursed herself and him. It would be better to never remember him. She wanted to forget… and when she thought this she felt so guilty…

She would rather the Earth die. She would rather be dead than live a life without him.

But in her dreams he told her she must live. For him. And especially for Gohan. He kept close eye on her in her dreams as if knowing she was walking on a thin line. It would only take the slightest shove to push her over. She was so tired of being smiling.

Of pretending it was ok.

How could everyone else move on so fast?

By believing he would someday return. And he told her he would- over and over again. In her dreams she could touch his cheek and he would kiss the palm of her hand.

_ "I'll be back for you. Sooner than you think. Please, Chichi. Don't do anything stupid…"_

It was his plea that forced her out of bed every morning. And the sound of Gohan's feet running down the hall to bid her good morning and ask for breakfast.

Chichi could no longer love the sight of herself. She was aging, of course. But missing someone does terrible things to a person. She no longer felt like the woman she was… she had such trouble keeping herself now.

_"Chichi… you're beautiful."_

His voice. Always his voice. She shook her head. She wanted to tell him to get out. To kick him out of her thoughts and heart. If only it was so easy.

She pulled her hair back into a loose pony-tail. Much like it had been when he had officially proposed. She walked out of her bedroom and welcomed the day by kissing her son's head and beginning breakfast.

Bulma often visited to gossip and to chit chat. To talk about Vegeta, the Saiyan Prince that now inhabited a room at her house. Chichi half heartedly listened- eyes sometimes fixed on Bulma. Half the time gazing outdoors. She knew Bulma was only visiting to ensure Goku's wife didn't drown herself in grief. Chichi appreciated the concern but would prefer to be without it.

"How have you _been_, Chichi?" Bulma asked. This struck a nerve. It had only been a week since the last visit. What did Bulma expect?

"Much the same, Bulma." Chichi looked at her, eyes hard and stubborn. "Waiting for something that may never come back to me. Hoping for the impossible, I suppose." She stood and walked to the stove, stirred the stew brewing, and turned back to the blue haired woman. "I'm the youngest widow I know."

"Chichi… Goku is going to come back someday. You gotta believe me."

"I do believe you. I believe you and that Saiyan Prince and everyone. But a day without him for me is like a year. And he's dead, Bulma. Dead, dead, dead."

_"Chichi… Please remember that I love you."_

"And I can hear him, Bulma!" Chichi's eyes filled with tears. "Like he's right here." She sighed, fought back the tears. "Like he's still here… "

Bulma was unable to say anything. She had no idea what the younger woman was going through- her and Goku had been close friends but this was his wife. Though they seemed a distant couple- often sharing different opinions on… well… everything… she knew there was more beyond the surface. Goku always looked at Chichi with a different look in his eye. Something reflecting much more than love. Something deeper- a complete possession over her. He had amazingly gone from complete naivety when it came to issues such as love to completely opening his heart, mind and life to this woman.

Son Chichi was something special.

"Of course she is, stupid woman." Vegeta spat at her later that evening when Bulma nonchalantly drabbled on about her view point. "A Saiyan- even a dim witted sorry excuse for one like Kakarrot- forms a bond with the woman he has chosen."

"A bond?" Bulma questioned.

"That idiot will never be able to think straight without her going through his mind first. Everything she feels whether it is emotionally or physically- he will feel as well."

"Chichi has said she's been hearing his voice… could this be possible?"

"Yes. Very possible." Vegeta raised a brow. "But Kakarrot would not interfere unless he was worried about her. Severing a bond with death is fatal to both parties- this woman is trying to fight the impossible. The will to follow him must be taking a toll on her." Vegeta more seemed to be thinking out loud at this point than talking to Bulma. She let him go on- he rarely spoke so much. Nothing she had to say interested him for the most part. "The idiot must sense it, too… to keep contact with her. Frequently, I assume?"

Bulma shrugged. She didn't question Chichi about it- Chichi had seemed torn up already.

"For a Saiyan- taking on a mate is a serious issue."

"Goku took the issue pretty lightly when they got married."

"Not marriage, you simple fool. Your earthly ties do not compare to the Saiyan pact." He scowled at her, disgusted at the comparison.

"So he didn't bond with her when they got married?"

"Kakarrot had already chosen her before even he was aware of it, I'm sure." Vegeta crossed his arms. "He left his mark on her. She is his for eternity. It is something uncontrollable."

"Have you bonded with anyone?"

"If I had would I be here? With _you_?" He sneered. She rolled her eyes but smiled.

"So how do we solve the problem?"

"What problem?"

"Chichi?"

"There is no solution. She will be a mess until Kakarrot returns. He will look after her when he can and by any means available to him. The decision to continue is ultimately hers. But if he loses her he is sure to go mad."

"Goku? Go mad?" Bulma shook her head. "When he is with her she is the world to him- surely. But when she is away from him Goku never seems to give a second thought about her or her feelings."

"She was always with him, idiot." Vegeta grumbled. "Kakarrot saw her everywhere. Though he is… tsk… good… this world would not hold as much meaning to him if she were not on it. And if she left this world to live on another he would follow."

"So if she were to ever die…"

"Kakarrot would want to follow. The bond works both ways, woman." Vegeta frowned at her. "Saiyans cover up their weaknesses well… but the one that Kakarrot does have is indeed her."

"So if someone were to try and hurt her?"

"…The person would die. Simple." Vegeta shrugged. "Enough questions." And he walked away. Bulma watched him for a while and then turned to the phone. She reached for it, considering calling Chichi to check in, but thought better of it. There was nothing she could say to make Chichi better… Vegeta just proved that. So she anxiously planned her next trip to the Son residence to try and keep Chichi's mind occupied on other things. Knowing Goku's wife was at constant risk for death simply because he was, at the moment, dead frightened her. If there was one thing Goku would expect from Bulma it would be to try and keep his Chichi alive. She hoped to make him proud.

_"Chichi… Please remember that I love you."_

Chichi sat up in bed. Morning hadn't even set in. The night air flooded around her and she got up to shut the window.

"Son Goku," She mumbled. "Just wait until you get home, Mister."

_"I'm sure I'll enjoy every second of it." _

His voice was light, happy. She could almost see him grinning at her. She could almost feel his hand on her shoulder, requesting that she turn to face him again. She spun around- expecting him to be there. Nothing.

"Bastard." She muttered. She put her face in her hands. "Goku, I'm _so_ tired of this."

_"Just hold on."_

"Hold on? For what reason?" She quickly frowned, removed her hands and balled them into little fists. "I want to let go."

_"Not much longer now."_

"What does that even mean, Goku?! One year? Two?" She threw her hands in the air, feeling crazy for arguing with a voice. "I'm through!"

_"Chichi… hold on. Please. I need you there."_

"And I need you here." His voice had no response. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked over her shoulder at his side. "I'm just tired, Goku."

_"Then sleep. Things will be better in the morning."_

"Only if you're with me." She pulled the covers over her… curled on her side and looked at his pillow. "I don't remember what you feel like, Goku… I can't remember what you feel like." She closed her eyes.

_"Let me show you."_

"Mom!" Gohan was shaking her awake. "Breakfast?"

"Mmm?" Chichi blinked her eyes open. "Oh… right… go wash up. I'll be down in a moment." She sat up as he scampered out of her room, eagerly waiting for his meal. She felt her neck and sure enough, marks proved fresh by a sting. If there was one thing her husband had picked up quickly it was his ability to make love- even in dreams he performed perfectly.

She found it hard to call something so real a dream.

She stood up and walked to her dresser and changed into her morning attire before heading downstairs to cook a large meal for her son.

On this day Gohan came home, tears in his eyes. He claimed that his teacher chastised him for answering a question wrong. Chichi just shook her head and comforted her son until Gohan added that the teacher stated he had a bad Father for neglecting his child so willingly. Chichi's face went red and she called Bulma, requesting she come take Gohan for a few hours.

Chichi borrowed a car and marched into that school. She demanded an audience with the teacher, put her fist down with a string of curse words and slapped him.

"My husband is a terrific Father and you are to NEVER speak his name or ANYTHING about him again!"

"We are only concerned about Gohan's well being, Ma'am." The teacher claimed. "He is often distracted with thoughts on the whereabouts of Mr…"

"My son is a strong boy." Chichi hissed. "And he will always have his Father in his thoughts- but that is truly none of your business." She glared. Gohan's teacher shivered, his hand still pressed against his cheek. "My husband is a _good man_. He has done more for you and everyone in this world than anyone will ever really realize." She balled up her fist. "And you are not worthy to even speak his name. This is a warning… if I ever hear anything further in the future I will not hesitate to beat you into oblivion."

_"That's my girl."_

Chichi nearly crumbled. She did not want to be having this fight. Goku should be here. She turned and marched out, climbed into her car and as soon as she got home she escaped to her room. Bulma would still have Gohan for at least an hour. She opened her closet and looked at Goku's gi's inside. They smelled of him. She took one out and wrapped it around herself.

"Come home to me."

_"Chichi."_

"I don't care where you consider home. Come to this home… to me…"

_"Soon."_

"Now." She glared. "Now!" She ran downstairs, her head in a flurry. Her heart raced. "I miss you. I miss you. I want you here. Now. I need you with me." She could feel panic. Not hers though, his. "Goku. I can't do this anymore." She looked for something. Anything. Grabbed a bottle of pills. Poured them into her hand. "Goku. Goku. Goku."

She felt a pressure on her neck and blacked out.

"Kakarrot… I'm going to kick your ass making me have to save your mate…" He threw the pills down the sink and picked Chichi's limp body up. A car screeched as the brakes slammed and Bulma, trying to be calm for Gohan's sake, hurried to the house.

"Chichi… oh…" She was immediately silent and held Gohan back.

"Mom?"

"Your Mother is tired." Vegeta stated. He carried her upstairs and returned promptly.

"It's best to let her sleep for a little while, Gohan." Bulma looked down at him.

"Is she ok?"

"Yes." Bulma said, unsure of whether or not she was lying. "I'll spend the night here… we'll have a sleep over."

"Oh… ok!" Gohan smiled. He ran upstairs to his room and Bulma looked at Vegeta who was simply unreadable.

"Goku told you to come here." Vegeta opened his eyes when she said this…

"Yes."

"How?"

"I do not know."

"You just… knew?"

"Yes." He frowned at her. She was beginning to understand him. He tried to shake the idea but it bothered him- tugged at him. He turned away. "I'm leaving."

"Wait…" Bulma watched him and he stopped. "Can't you stay? You don't have to stay all night… but… at least for a while?" He tried to say no but the opposite came out.

"Fine." He knew then that he was in trouble…

_"What do you think I meant by something stupid?"_

"Goku…"

_"I know it's hard, Chichi… but you at least have Gohan. I am out on my own here."_

"You chose your path." She hesitated. "You picked it over me. Us."

_"I know I'm a little selfish… but I expected more from you."_

"I expect more from you still."

_"Be strong."_

"I am strong!"

_"Stronger. Prove it to me."_

"…"

_"I am nothing without you alive."_

Chichi opened her eyes to blackness. The window, open again, send a chilled air across her. Unwilling to get up, she simply moved further away and curled up on Goku's side of the bed. She remembered keeping the window open a necessity at one point because his body heat had the potential to make her sweat up a storm.

"I am strong." She repeated.

_"Good."_

"Go away now, Goku… just go away…"

_"I can't, Chichi. I really can't."_

"Mmm…" She groaned and buried her face in his pillow.

_"Now, Chichi." _

"What?"

"_Turn around."_

She sat up immediately and a light sparked inside her eyes. Her Goku stood before her, arms open. She did not hesitate to jump.

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Thanks for reading! As I said- this is probably a one- shot as I will likely not add any more to it… and whether or not Goku is truly alive or just merely visiting I will allow you, the reader, to decide for yourselves. Thanks again!


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